THE CYCLIST

INDEPENDENT SPORT NEWS ONLINE

VINNICOMBE:

FUCK I AM CYCLING NUDE

GLOWTEX— HAVE SEX WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING IT

 

Glowtex is a new product of Sizer Pharaceuticals. It contains 100% chemistry and is free of natural ingredients. We are the only one who guarantee you a complete knock out!

 

 NOW ONLY USD 299,—

„I am fed up with this tight material, in future I will cycle nude“. We have the first pictures of the complete nude Vinnicombe! One of the biggest cocks in the cycling world on PAGE 15

FASHION WEEKS 2004

Incredible thin farbrics, more on PAGE 20

„I was so afraid when these three  bulges without faces  came around the corner!“ Mrs. Whitherspoon of Abuley, Main said and you could see the terror in her eyes. „They were so, well, so big. And I think they had three balls in their tight speedos! Imagine, three balls! Not that I was looking at their private parts, but where else can you look at when there is no face?“.  The FBI stated that there is no AREA 51. Continued on PAGE 6

ONANIIISM COLLECTION

The new collection of ONANIIISM is out! „This year it is all about violence, blue marks and abrasions“ fashion mogul  Ananie Onanie, chef designer of ONANIIISM, states. But what can you do if you do not have any blue marks or abrasions? „Turn on your electric iron and fake some“ was the astonishing easy answere. We collected the hottest fake tips for you and give you detailed instructions on how to burn, slap and scrup yourself . PAGE 25

I AM TOO CUTE!

Sergei Cutie does not want to wear a helmet: too CUTE?